Does Every Marriage Have Problems?

Updated November 26, 2023

“Does every marriage have problems?”  The answer, of course, is yes.  Marriage — like life — is a journey filled with highs and lows, and it’s inevitable for couples to encounter bumps along the way.  In the happiest marriages, both spouses see life’s challenges as opportunities to grow both as individuals and as a couple.  You may wonder whether you want to work on the issues in your marriage or whether it’s time to consider the possibility of divorce.  Working through this question may be difficult, but it can also provide you with new insights and the ability to understand more about what you truly want for your life.

Understanding Marital Problems

Communication Issues in Marriage

Communication is one of the most important factors in all relationships.  Strengthening your communication can improve your marriage.  Conversely, allowing communication issues to fester can turn small problems into big problems — leading to misunderstandings, conflicts, or hurt feelings.  First, take responsibility for, and control over, your role in the communication.  Share your feelings.  Learn healthy communication techniques.  Even if you ultimately decide to end your marriage, investing in improving your own communication will improve the likelihood of a better divorce and will set you up to have better connections in all of your relationships.

Read:  Power of Clear Communication: Articulating Your Needs When Considering Divorce

Read: Discussing Divorce with Your Spouse

Conflict and Disagreements Between Spouses

Disagreements are a normal part of any relationship. The key lies in how you handle these conflicts.  Understanding how conflict can actually be a tool to understand yourself and yourself better can also help you work through conflict.

Read: How to Resolve Conflict in a Marriage

Changing Dynamics and Life Goals

As you and your spouse grow and evolve, so do your priorities and dreams for the future.  Deciding whether your relationship still fulfills you requires open and ongoing communication.

Read: Personal Growth and Divorce

Evaluating the Severity and Persistence of Marital Problems

Assessing Your Marriage’s Impact on Your Overall Happiness and Goals

Ask yourself whether the problems in your marriage significantly affect your overall happiness and well-being?  What are your goals for your life, and how, if at all, does your marriage fit into those goals?

Read: Personal Growth & Divorce

Deciding Whether to Work on Problems

First, both partners must want their marriage to work.  Second, they both must be willing to invest time, effort, and emotional energy into improving their communication and working through other disconnects in the marriage.  This may involve individual self-reflection, couples’ therapy, or attending marriage workshops or retreats.The goal is to create the opportunity for open and honest dialogue so both partners can express their needs, concerns, and desires.  You’ll both want to approach the process with curiosity and a commitment to listen more than talk.

Read: How to Resolve Conflict in a Marriage

Read: Making the Decision to Divorce

When to Consider Divorce

If either partner is ready to move on, it’s time to consider divorce.  In addition, if you tried to work on your marriage and it didn’t improve your relationship, you’ll also want to consider divorce as one of your options.

As always, if a marriage has become toxic, abusive, or detrimental to your mental, emotional, or physical health, it’s essential to prioritize your well-being and safety.

Read: When Should You Hire a Divorce Attorney?

Read: When to Leave a Marriage

Next Steps

While every marriage experiences problems, it’s crucial to distinguish between normal challenges and persistent issues.  Through open communication, commitment to growth, and professional guidance, many marriages can overcome obstacles and thrive. However, if the marriage is unfulfilling, problems persist, or jeopardize well-being, it’s time to consider other options, including divorce. Ultimately, as you carefully consider your decision, you’ll want to focus on personal happiness, growth, and the pursuit of a happier, healthier future.