Coffee & Divorce

I drink my at-home coffee two ways.  And, I am very literal (my friend Laura aptly described this as “Meghan doesn’t joke.”)  Ergo, my two ways are called “Vermont Meghan” and “Mexican Meghan.” “Vermont Meghan” is coffee with half and half and a dribble of maple syrup, which I first tried in Vermont.  “Mexican Meghan” is black coffee, which I first tried on a transcendent Tulum trip with Chion and Maribel.  Both are exclusively brewed and prepared by Kristen – a world-class barista.

Vermont Meghan is saved for special occasions and is the coffee version of when you get into Please Don’t Tell or The Raine’s Law Room.  You don’t order a glass of wine; you get the cocktail.

It’s the second cup on a perfect, leisurely Sunday.

This isn’t about my Vermont coffee, though. It’s about what’s now become my everyday coffee: Mexico.  Before Tulum, I had no idea I could stomach coffee without any cream or milk.  I thought my friends who took their coffee black were some sort of ascetics – something, although I could probably stand a dose of myself, to which I admittedly do not aspire.

But it turns out that I love Kristen’s coffee black.  Great coffee, black, isn’t harsh. It’s clean and deep and luxurious.  (Bad coffee, black, is dreadful.  The only approach to conference room or banquet coffee is to put a splash of cream-like something in it, close your eyes, and think of England.)

In other words, my day-to-day coffee isn’t a sacrifice; it’s a joy.

Now, let me share an all too classic tale from divorce lawyer land.  So often, we see people gather the courage to end an unhappy marriage, meet with us, and then fall off.  Sometimes they just don’t show up, without notice.  Most times, they politely share that they’ve changed their minds.  I know we aren’t the only divorce lawyers who see this; it’s one of the things humans do when they are on the brink of a big pivot.

But it is dangerous.  Remember, the first meeting with Freed Marcroft is just a meeting – we talk through what’s on your mind and your goals. It’s not a decision to file for divorce; it’s a step towards clarity.  But that step can feel so scary that people who usually are very conscientious no show and ghost.

Then they go back to their lives and lie to themselves about how it’s not so bad.  Essentially, they return to being the proverbial frogs in their homes’ boiling pot of water.

Likely, in a month, or a year, or a few years, something will happen and be a new catalyst, and they will call again.  And the real sorrow is the lost time.  That, as they languished in the boiling water, they will have missed the opportunity to create true happiness during those months or years.

Make sure your everyday coffee brings you joy, not just caffeine.

Remember, the second best time is now.