How to Identify the Biggest Signs Your Marriage Is in Trouble

How can you tell if your marriage is in trouble?  As divorce lawyers, we are very familiar with the signs of a marriage in trouble.  In this article, we’ll discuss some of the most common signs we see and what you can do to address them.  From moving into separate bedrooms to frequently texting someone other than your spouse, to spending more free time alone or with others than your spouse, to running into another room to take a phone call, to changing the password on your phone, to criticizing more than complimenting, and to not even arguing anymore, we’ll cover it all.  By knowing what to look for, you can address the issues with your partner and decide together whether you want to commit to doing the work to repair your marriage.

So, if you’re worried about your marriage, keep reading to learn how to identify the signs and take steps to save your relationship.

Early Warning Signs of Trouble in a Marriage

Sleeping in Separate Bedrooms

It doesn’t always mean that your marriage is in trouble, but sleeping in separate bedrooms is a common sign of problems.  Sometimes spouses begin this as a temporary plan when kids are little or to address one partner’s snoring, but if it continues, it can create distance over time.  Instead of sleeping apart as a solution, fix the underlying problem.

Your Spouse Runs Into Another Room to Take a Call

If your spouse constantly runs into another room to take a phone call, this could be a sign that they are trying to hide something from you.  Of course, it could be an innocent call, but it could also be a call from someone they don’t want you to know about.  If this behavior is new, it could be a red flag that something is wrong in your marriage.  Talk to your spouse and ask why they take calls in another room.

Your Spouse Spends Their Free Time Alone or With Other People Besides You

If your spouse suddenly starts spending more time alone or with others besides you, this may be a sign that they are losing interest in your marriage.  While it’s perfectly healthy to have other friends in your life besides your spouse, it is vital to spend time together as a couple.  Again, talk to your spouse about it and determine if this is a sign of trouble in your marriage.

Your Spouse Frequently Texts Someone Other Than You

If your spouse is constantly texting someone else and seems more interested in their phone than spending time together, this can be a problem sign.  Consider speaking with your partner rather than snooping around and potentially creating an additional trust issue.

More Criticizing Than Complimenting

If your spouse criticizes you more often than they compliment you, this could be a sign that they are unhappy in your marriage.  Communicating with your spouse and finding out what is bothering them is essential.  Sometimes, criticism can be a sign of deeper issues that need to be addressed in your marriage.

Your Spouse Changes Their Phone Password

If your spouse suddenly changes their phone password, it could be innocent.  However, it could also be a sign that they are trying to keep something from you.

You Stopped Arguing

While this may initially seem like a good thing, arguing is an important part of any healthy relationship.  It is a way for couples to communicate their needs and work through their differing perspectives.  That’s why, if you and your spouse have stopped arguing altogether, it could be a sign that you have stopped genuinely communicating.  It is important to talk to your spouse and find out what is happening in their life (and your marriage).

Deciding Whether to Repair a Troubled Marriage

If you and your spouse are having trouble in your marriage, deciding whether you want to commit to doing the work to repair your relationship is important.  It takes two people to make a marriage work, and both partners need to be willing to put in the effort to make things right.  If you both decide that you want to work on your marriage, be patient with each other and take things one step at a time.

A special type of marriage counseling called discernment therapy can help you both decide whether you want to work together to stay married.

Read: When to Work on a Marriage

Read: When to Leave a Marriage

Ways to Repair a Troubled Marriage

If you and your spouse are both on the same page and committed to working through your marital issues, your best approach is to do so early, before problems grow.  This involves open and honest communication and may well mean seeking a mental health professional’s assistance.  A therapist or counselor can help you and your spouse communicate more effectively and work through things in a safe and supportive environment.  In some cases, postnuptial agreements may also make sense.

Read: Ways a Post Nup Can Save Your Marriage

Next Steps

Marriage is not always easy, and sometimes couples hit rough patches.  If you notice signs of trouble in your marriage, it is important to take them head-on.  If you are both willing, by communicating openly and honestly with your spouse and seeking professional help, you can work together to build a stronger and healthier marriage.  Remember, it takes two people to make a marriage work, and both partners need to be willing to put in the effort to make things right.

If we can be of assistance, please reach out.