How to Emotionally Recover from the Unique Challenges of a Same-Sex Divorce

  •   |   Meghan Freed

Despite the victories the LGBTQ community has enjoyed in recent years, the legal landscape for same-sex couples is still changing. It can be challenging for same-sex couples to navigate the divorce process, both from a legal and emotional standpoint. How can you keep a positive, winning mindset and prepare for the changes ahead?

Consider these tips for a healthier outlook.

1) Honor Your Personal Values

Whether you’re approaching divorce through mediation, litigation, or collaborative divorce, it’s safe to expect a healthy dose of conflict—whether it’s inner conflict or disagreements with your ex-spouse. It’s essential to know your personal values and consider how they may be tested during your divorce. If family and children are important to you, for example, you should be prepared to make any compromises that benefit your kids while upholding your right to care for them as a parent.

2) Now is the Time to Focus on YOUR Interests and Goals

With your personal values in mind, you should decide on the divorce issues that matter most to you. When it seems like dozens of things need your attention, and they’re all coming at you all at once, you only have to focus on your goals. That’s not to say you should have tunnel vision. Just remember that this is the time to re-center yourself around what makes you, you. Your goals will keep you anchored and can save you from feeling overwhelmed because once you identify your goals, you can prioritize the rest accordingly.

3) Adopt a Positive Outlook

Divorce matters like property division, child custody, and alimony can often be more complicated for same-sex couples. It can be frustrating to see how the legal system fails to address the needs of the LGBT community—even more so when you experience it yourself. When the legalities of your divorce get you down, it’s essential to keep your chin up. Remember that your decision to divorce is part of an effort to move forward with your life. Try to separate your feelings about the legal proceedings and focus on working through your emotions about the breakup itself.

4) Create a Support Network

When you’re going through a difficult time, you must surround yourself with family and friends who genuinely care about you and professionals who can truly make a difference in your divorce process. Your support network of specialists might include a financial analyst, a therapist, and a divorce coach with experience working with same-sex couples.

However, we often caution people who come to see us that they should be wary of that “Greek chorus.” After a marriage ends, the people on your side will invariably be biased toward you. While they mean well, these people often do not understand how the law works or the intimate details of your marriage—only you and your former spouse know what really happened (and maybe your respective lawyers). At the end of the day, we encourage our clients to embrace the things and people that remind them of what they loved doing but didn’t do as much of during the marriage. Your support network can be an invaluable source of healing, but you must remember what makes you who you are and how you can reconnect with it.

The attorney that you choose to handle your divorce should have an in-depth understanding of the challenges you face as an LGBT divorcee. The family lawyers at Freed Marcroft are dedicated to serving members of the LGBT community. Our unparalleled legal counsel is designed to help you overcome the unique legal issues faced by divorcing same-sex couples. Contact us today to speak with a compassionate attorney who will endeavor to make your divorce proceedings go as smoothly as possible.

Read: Tips for Navigating Other People’s Reactions to Your Divorce

Freed Marcroft LLC

Freed Marcroft LLC