What Carrie Fisher and Paul Simon Teach Us About Divorce
Over here at Freed Marcroft we have been struggling with the untimely passing of Carrie Fisher. Fisher held a special place in the hearts of so many girls of the 1980s — and Freed Marcroft has so very many girls of the 1980s. I have read more wonderful Carrie Fisher quotes in the past few days than I could have conceived. Other than the sassy ones, the one that really got me was the one we shared on Freed Marcroft’s Facebook and Instagram. “Stay afraid, but do it anyway. What’s important is the action. You don’t have to wait to be confident. Just do it and eventually the confidence will follow.”
Carrie Fisher and Paul Simon
I didn’t think about what Carrie Fisher had to teach us about divorce until I came across an article that referenced Paul Simon’s tweet about the death of his former wife.
Carrie Fisher and Paul Simon had an “explosive love affair.” As Fisher wrote in her autobiography Wishful Drinking, “Paul and I dated for six years, were married for two, divorced for one, and then we had good memories of each other and so what do you think we did? No-no, we didn’t remarry. We dated again.” It is well known that Simon wrote several songs about Fisher — most
commonly “Hearts and Bones” and the Simon classic, “She Moves On.” Fisher wrote, “If you can get Paul Simon to write a song about you, do it. Because he is so brilliant at it.” Go download “Hearts and Bones” and “She Moves On” and let Paul Simon do what he does best and sing to you.
But Don’t Forget “Graceland”
There is a piece of another song, though, that some say Simon wrote about Fisher. “Graceland” — the soundtrack that still plays when we think about a certain time in our lives.
She comes back to tell me she’s gone
As if I didn’t know that
As if I didn’t know my own bed
As if I’d never notice
The way she brushed her hair from
Her forehead and she said, “Losing love
Is like a window in your heart
Everybody sees you’re blown apart
Everybody sees the wind blow”
Simon captures the loneliness, exposure, and vulnerability experienced during divorce. But “Graceland” isn’t a song about how angry he was at Fisher for leaving him. It is a song about how we often don’t fully understand what we’re doing, and how all of us can access grace.
And I may be obliged to defend
Every love, every ending
Or maybe there’s no obligations now
Maybe I’ve a reason to believe
We all will be received
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