Own Your Divorce: Why Active Participation is the Key to Success

When you’re divorcing, you have two choices: take the wheel and actively drive toward your future, or let the process happen to you. Trust me—this is no time to be a passenger.

A successful divorce isn’t about luck or hoping things magically work out. It’s about staying engaged, proactive, and responsive every step of the way. At Freed Marcroft, we see it again and again—the clients who actively participate achieve outcomes closer to their goals, experience less stress, and feel more empowered throughout the process.

Why Does Being Proactive Matter So Much?

First, your involvement directly influences the strength of your legal position. Attorneys can provide strategy, insight, and guidance, but your responsiveness helps us tailor that strategy specifically to you. Quickly providing accurate information, asking insightful questions, and engaging with the strategy we lay out ensures your lawyer can advocate effectively on your behalf.

Second, active participation helps you maintain control of your divorce narrative. By staying informed and involved, you get to shape your future actively. Divorce shouldn’t just happen to you. You have the power—and the responsibility—to guide the conversation, negotiate effectively, and make decisions aligned with your vision for your future.

Read: Revisiting and Prioritizing Your Goals: Time, Money, & Outcome

But What Happens if You Don’t Actively Participate?

When you’re passive or disengaged, your case can quickly fall behind. Crucial deadlines might be missed, necessary information may not be conveyed, and opportunities for negotiation or resolution can pass by unnoticed. Worse yet, a lack of engagement sends the message to the other side—and to the court—that you’re not fully invested, which can lead to less favorable terms or outcomes that don’t reflect your true priorities or desires.

Another significant risk is that your lawyer might be forced to step aside. Lawyers require clear and timely communication from their clients to advocate effectively and ethically. If you consistently fail to engage, respond, or participate, your attorney may have no choice but to withdraw, leaving you in an even more vulnerable position.

Not staying responsive also diminishes your ability to make informed choices. When critical decisions need to be made, your lawyer needs your input and participation to secure the best possible outcome. Delays or lack of clarity in your responses can result in misunderstandings, weakened positions, or unnecessary concessions.

How to Stay Engaged Even When It’s Difficult

Let’s be real—divorce can be incredibly stressful and emotionally draining. There will be times when it feels overwhelming to stay proactive. Here are concrete ways you can remain involved, even when it’s challenging:

• Communicate openly: Let your lawyer know when you’re struggling emotionally or practically. Transparency helps your attorney better support and guide you.
• Request additional time: If you’re overwhelmed, ask your attorney if additional time is possible to gather information or make decisions. Clear expectations help reduce stress and improve outcomes.
• Lean on your support network: Reach out to friends, family, or professional counselors to help manage stress, so you can remain focused and engaged. If you’d like the name of a mental health professional who has helped other clients in similar situations, say the word. It would be our pleasure to connect you.

Read: Let’s Talk Truth: Why Honesty With Your Divorce Lawyer Is Essential

Putting Engagement into Action: Emily’s Story

Consider the example of one client—we’ll call her Emily—who initially felt overwhelmed and anxious, struggling to gather the initial discovery documents and engage in the decision-making that her divorce required. Instead of retreating, Emily communicated openly about her struggles. Together, we created a manageable timeline and set smaller, achievable tasks. We also recommended a financial planner to help Emily gather and understand all necessary financial documents. These steps made the process less daunting, allowing Emily to better prioritize her goals and confidently make decisions. Ultimately, by sharing her struggles honestly and proactively, Emily reduced her stress, maintained control, and secured outcomes aligned with her goals. Emily’s proactive approach truly made all the difference.

At Freed Marcroft, our approach empowers you with tools, truths, and insights to confidently make decisions about your future. Your future is too important to leave in someone else’s hands—so engage actively, stay responsive, and take control. And remember, if you’re feeling overwhelmed, let us know.  We’re here to help you navigate every step of the way.

Reach out—we’ve got your back.