Understanding the Two Types of Divorce Mediation in Connecticut

Many people don’t know that there are actually two types of divorce mediation that prevalent in Connecticut.  At Freed Marcroft, we believe divorce isn’t just about the end of a marriage—it’s about finding the best way to move forward so you can live the life you want to live, quickly and well. That’s why choosing the best divorce process (for you) is so important. Mediation is often an effective tool for resolving divorce on your terms, whether you want to avoid court entirely or resolve outstanding issues and avoid trial.

In Connecticut, experienced attorneys deploy mediation in divorce cases in two main ways: (1) as an alternative to litigation and (2) as a settlement tool during litigation.

Divorce Mediation Type 1: Alternative to Litigation

When couples choose mediation as their primary divorce process, they’re deciding to step away from the court-based divorce default in Connecticut, litigation. Instead, they work with a neutral third-party divorce mediator to negotiate and resolve every aspect of their divorce, including property division, alimony, child custody, and support. In many cases, the whole mediation takes place before the spouse even files for divorce. Read on for why it can be such a powerful option.

Read: How Is Divorce Litigation Different from Traditional Divorce Litigation

Flexibility and Control

In mediation, the parties—not a judge—control the process and the outcome. This means we can craft creative solutions tailored to your family’s unique needs and priorities together. For example, you might negotiate a parenting schedule that aligns with your work hours or divide assets to reflect your shared values.

Privacy and Confidentiality

Unlike court proceedings, which are public, mediation is confidential. Mediation keeps sensitive financial and personal information private, making it an appealing option for couples who value discretion.

Saving Time

Litigation is subject to the court’s schedule, which can mean long delays while waiting for available court dates. Worse, the court doesn’t work around the parties’ schedules—it’s the other way around. Mediation avoids this problem. Sessions are scheduled at times that work for everyone, allowing the process to move forward at a pace that suits you.  And, many experienced divorce mediators (like ours here at Freed Marcroft) offer virtual, online mediation.

Cost-Effectiveness

Mediation is typically less expensive than litigation because it avoids certain costly procedures associated with going to court, such as multiple filings, court appearances, and extended attorney hours.

Read: Demystifying the Cost of Divorce Mediation

Preserving Relationships

Preserving relationships is particularly important for many divorcing couples with children. Mediation’s collaborative approach reduces conflict and helps establish a foundation for effective co-parenting, making it easier for them to work together after they finalize their divorce.

Read: What Is Mediation in Divorce?

Read: A Guide to Mediation’s Benefits

The Role of the Mediator and Structure in Divorce Mediation Type 1: Litigation Alternative

In this context, the mediator serves as a guide, facilitating dialogue between the spouses. The mediator is a neutral third party, and should be a trained professional with a background in law (or sometimes psychology), who helps the spouses identify their priorities, communicate effectively, and reach resolutions. Because there is a lot of work to do and decisions to make, this often occurs in a series of mediation sessions, often with ‘homework’ for everyone between sessions.

• Dialogue-Focused: The mediator helps both spouses articulate their goals and concerns and explore potential compromises.
• Lawyers Typically Not Present: While each spouse has their own “mediation review counsel” to consult between sessions, the attorneys usually don’t attend the mediation itself. This structure allows the spouses to focus on direct communication without the formality of legal representation in the room.
• Series of Sessions: Unlike the settlement tool mediation, which is usually one day, this approach typically involves multiple sessions over several weeks or months. This gives the spouses time to reflect on their discussions and consult their review counsel as needed between sessions.

Other Alternatives to Litigation

Litigation is often the first thing people think of when they picture divorce. The courtroom drama portrayed in TV shows and movies has become so ingrained in our collective imagination that it’s easy to forget there are many alternatives to traditional litigation. In Connecticut, mediation is one of the most popular litigation alternatives. Still, it’s important to know a little bit about the other alternative dispute resolution (ADR) options.

Collaborative Divorce

In a collaborative divorce, both parties work with specially trained attorneys and commit to resolving their divorce outside court. Everyone involved signs a “no court” agreement. This agreement dictates that if negotiations break down, the attorneys must withdraw, and the parties must find new counsel. The no-court pledge is intended to emphasize and support that the parties are fully committed to the collaborative process. Among the different ADR alternatives, collaborative divorce is relatively structured and works well for couples who want plenty of professional guidance but prefer a cooperative, rather than adversarial, approach.

Read: What Is Collaborative Divorce?

Arbitration

Divorce arbitration is a private, more informal process where a neutral arbitrator (often a retired judge or an experienced family law attorney) hears the parties’ evidence and arguments and makes a binding decision. While it’s more flexible than traditional litigation, arbitration still involves a third party making the final call, which can limit the parties’ control over the outcome.

Read: Arbitration & Divorce

Cooperative Divorce

Cooperative divorce falls somewhere between mediation and litigation. While it doesn’t require the formal “no court” agreement of collaborative divorce, it emphasizes working to resolve the divorce outside of court, allowing the attorneys to continue to court with their clients if negotiations fail.

Read: What Is Cooperative Divorce?

Divorce Mediation Type 2: Litigation Settlement Tool

Litigation alternatives, however, aren’t always the best approach for every family. For some people, litigation is actually the best approach. Happily, even when litigation has already begun, mediation can be an excellent tool to help you resolve issues like property division, alimony, custody, and child support outside of court—even when you are litigating. This often happens later in the divorce litigation process, once the parties have completed most of the discovery phase (the exchange of financial and other critical information). At this point, mediation can be a strategic way to resolve remaining disputes and avoid trial.

Timing is Key

Why is mediation especially effective after discovery? By this stage, both parties and their attorneys have a clearer understanding of the facts, outstanding unresolved issues, and potential trial risks. With this clarity, mediation becomes a focused effort to bridge the gap between the two spouse’s opposing positions.

Courtroom Realities vs. Mediation’s Flexibility

Trial comes with significant risks. Even with the best legal team, the outcome is ultimately in the hands of a judge with limited time, whose decision might not align with either party’s preferences. Mediation, on the other hand, puts the decision-making power back in the hands of the partners. Additionally, trial preparation is costly and time-intensive. Mediation provides an opportunity to save time, money, and emotional energy. It also keeps control over decisions with the spouses.

Read: What Is a Divorce Trial?

The Role of the Mediator and Structure in Divorce Mediation Type 2: Settlement Tool

Settlement mediation is structured differently from mediation as an alternative to litigation. It’s often more formal, involving both the spouses’ attorneys (litigation counsel) and sometimes pre-mediation submissions.

• Attorney Participation: Unlike in mediation as a litigation alternative, the spouses’ attorneys actively participate in this process. They help present their clients’ positions, provide legal guidance, and work collaboratively with the mediator to seek resolutions.
• Pre-Mediation Submissions: Attorneys often prepare submissions for the mediator in advance. These documents outline things like unresolved issues, their client’s perspective, and potential proposals for resolution. Sometimes, the parties share their submission with the opposing party. In other mediations, they remain confidential.
• Single Session: This type of settlement mediation usually does not consist of a series of sessions like when a couple uses mediation for their whole divorce process. Instead, it often takes place in one half- or full-day session. This condensed format is available because the divorce litigation is generally far along by the time of the scheduled mediation. This means that the spouses and lawyers have had an opportunity to identify most of the issues and may have even explored some.
• Shuttle Mediation: Settlement mediation frequently involves “shuttle mediation,” where the parties and their attorneys depart to separate rooms after an initial joint session. The mediator then moves between the rooms, facilitating discussions and offering solutions to bridge the gaps between the parties’ positions.

Why Mediation Matters

At Freed Marcroft, we believe that the divorce process should be as forward-thinking and solution-oriented as possible. Mediation embodies these principles. Whether you choose mediation as your primary process or as a tool to settle unresolved issues during litigation, it offers a pathway to greater control, reduced time, and more personalized outcomes.

We understand that divorce is not just an end—it’s a beginning. Choosing the right process is the first step toward creating the future you want for yourself and your family.

Next Steps

If you’re considering using one of the two types of divorce mediation—or if you’re currently in litigation and want to explore how mediation could help resolve your case—schedule some time with Freed Marcroft’s team today. Together, we’ll help you navigate the road ahead with clarity, confidence, and a focus on what matters most to you.