Our Clients’ Top Five Tips For Taking Care of Yourself During Divorce

At Freed Marcroft, we understand that divorce and child custody aren’t legal issues alone.  For many people, these types of transitions are the most difficult experiences of their lives.  Though it is easier said than done, it is especially critical to take care of yourself — your whole self.

Yes, you absolutely need to get reliable, recommended legal counsel.  But you also need to focus on your mental, spiritual, and physical wellness.

We asked some of our clients who are now on the other side of the upheaval to share their words of wisdom — after all, they are the experts.  The response was so enthusiastic and recommendations were so emphatic that we are launching series of blog posts expanding on their suggestions.

For now, though, here are their top five tips:

 yoga1.  Yoga, yoga, yoga.

“Everyone going through a divorce should be required by law to do yoga.”

Our gurus raved about the mental, physical, and, yes, spiritual benefits of yoga.  The votes for yoga were so overwhelming that we asked Natasha Roggi, yoga teacher, Hartford Sweat studio owner, and all around wonderful person to write a guest post about Yoga and Stress Relief.  (It’s now published here!)

man-walking-feet2. Get outside.

 “Honestly, I think walking and my therapist were the two things that helped me keep my sanity.”

Whether it’s to run, walk, mosey, or amble, get outside and into the fresh air.  From the shoreline to the mountains to the city sidewalks to your neighborhood, we are surrounded by Connecticut’s beauty.  Plus, moving forward will help you move forward.  We will be back soon with more about the benefits of exercise in the great outdoors.  (It’s now published here!)

3. Reach out to friends, but be careful about listening to their “legal” advice.

“If I could tell people only one thing it’s not to get caught up in what friends and family say will happen or should happen. I ultimately figured out that basically everything they told me was wrong, but it really made me question myself and made it hard to make a decision.”

A common refrain was that this transition created an opportunity for people both to reconnect with old friends and make new friends.  The cautionary tale, though, was that many people will have war stories and advice for you. Even when this advice is well-intentioned it can be confusing and anxiety-provoking. Remember each family and each legal process is different — the facts and the players and the goals are never identical. Just because your neighbor pays alimony or got the house doesn’t mean you will. Just because they didn’t, doesn’t mean you won’t.  We will be back soon with more about handling your friends and loved ones during divorce.

4. Eat (well).  

“I don’t have kids, so I could get away with not eating or eating badly.  My sister actually called me out on it and started dropping off meals for me a couple times a week.  It sounds silly, but actually eating real food changed everything.”

As family law attorneys, we can attest to the fact you need fuel to make good decisions, and during divorce, good decisions are imperative.  Divorce can wreak havoc on your health, and it’s likely the worst time to give up good eating habits.  We will write more soon with practical tips about how to eat right during a divorce.

5. Make your own space.

“It made sense for our family to stay together in the home through the end of the school year.  I actually managed to turn a little guest room into a sanctum and it made a huge difference for me.  Leather couch, books, and all my music.”

Whether you are living separately from or even together with your spouse, find a way to create a separate space that’s all your own.  Get new sheets and towels, choose your own wall color, surround yourself with your favorite things.  Stay tuned for more on how to make space for yourself, even when space is tight.

We look forward to expanding on our clients’ excellent suggestions in the future.  For now, though, please contact us if you’d to learn more about Freed Marcroft’s holistic approach to divorce and custody matters.

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Written by Meghan Freed